Old Year, New Year

I don’t make new year’s resolutions.

The new year always causes us to focus on the things we haven’t done, or on those things we did do but wish we hadn’t. They manifest themselves as goals and given the title Resolution to make us more likely to follow through.

A week or a month may pass before we let the resolution slide and the feelings of failure creep in. “I need to…” “I should have…” “I wish I hadn’t…” You’ll be in good company with all the others who feel guilty about blowing their resolutions too. 

I refuse to deal with resolution guilt anymore.

Each new year is an opportunity to evaluate where I am, what I’m doing, and where I want to be in the future. It is good to review the year and then let it go.

Let. It. Go. 

2018, for me, has been the hardest year I have had since my Mom passed away in 1994. Overall, nearly the entire year was rife with stress and personal conflict. It was filled with pain and numbness, anxiety and frustration. But 2018 is just one year in my life and it is ending tonight. Tomorrow begins a new day and a new year. There’s always hope for the new, right?

Of course there is.

2019 will be filled with much more happy times and adventures that this past year was. Things I’m happily anticipating:

  • Getting my first tattoos in January. Plural!
  • Going back to school in February for advanced training and certifications.
  • Moving out of direct patient care and into areas of diagnosis and evaluation.
  • Taking some weekend trips with my husband.
  • Seeing Dead and Company at the Gorge in June. Of course!
  • Growing out the rest of my natural, silver streaked hair.
  • Several vintage craft shows where I can sell my jewelry.

2018 was a year of breakage.

My spirit experienced a break, my confidence, my heart, and my resolve all experienced trauma and pain this past year, but through pain comes healing. Every bit of pain brought with it knowledge. Knowledge leads to understanding, and understanding to healing.

2019 is my year to heal all the areas.

I’m starting to see a counselor who will help me work through the tougher things, and my husband has committed to help as well. I’m doing a lot of reading that will bring about spiritual healing.

It’s a new year. Let’s make the most of it and take what we need to heal and strengthen ourselves.

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