What IS real is a helping HAND when someone needs it. Forget about “God closing a door”. If you can be the HAND that helps someone up, then do it. A closed door doesn’t relieve you of your part in the life of a friend, colleague, or neighbor. If you are able to help and don’t, then “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matt 25:40) is meaningless.
I could never have come through all of this with a Christian counselor. Dealing with trauma, emotional things, marital problems, etc while going through deconstruction simply cannot be handled by someone who is committed to first and foremostly “saving lost sheep.” You are not a project. You are not a salvation target. You are a person and you need to be heard and taught how to walk through your own life.